Gender Equality: Is there an App for That?

Here's another wonderful editorial about gender equality by Natascha McElhone. (This is actually an edited version of a speech she gave at Wired 2013 in London.) She shares a lot of anecdotes of her experiences with sexism which will probably ring true for (or sound familiar to) many of us. She discusses the phenomenon of "casual sexism," which is oft times subtle and is far more pervasive, I would imagine, than any of us realize. One facet of that phenomenon is the casual objectification of women, which, according to McElhone, is sexist primarily because it happens so much more frequently than the converse (the casual objectification of men), and because of the powerless positions in which women are portrayed in sexual images.

And McElhone asks a number of great questions about a variety of issues. Among those most important in my mind are:

"Why should men not garner respect for staying at home for those formative years?"

Undoubtedly an issue worthy of much discussion is the right of men to play a more active role in raising their children and maintaining their households if they so choose. The importance of this issue should be abundantly clear because, as anyone who has thought long and hard about gender equality should realize, women will never and can never play a truly equal role in the workplace until men play a truly equal role at home. Or, in the paraphrased words of Sheryl Sandberg, women can't "lean in" at the board table until men "lean in" at the kitchen table.

Many men are wonderful fathers, and homemakers, but they are never truly given the chance because of the stigma, stereotype, or casual sexism wrapped up in the still prevailing idea that these tasks are women's tasks--and continue to be women's tasks--even as women are expected to contribute equally to the workforce. If you find this insulting to men, then that only proves the point that domestic (and traditionally feminine) roles are demeaned and stigmatized in our society. Maybe a woman makes a free choice to stay home, or a man makes a free choice to bring home the bacon, but until the stigmas are eliminated for both sexes, no one can really make a choice that is completely free. And, in my view, this is the area in which WOMEN are the most guilty of contributing to the problem of gender inequality, by refusing to let their male partners play a more active role at home. You have to step back if you want them to step up. I only know this because I have been quite guilty of this myself!

Here was another of my favorite excerpts from McElhone's piece: "If I were a journalist, I would ask every man I interviewed if he was worried about his hair loss, his weight, how he managed his work/home balance, what his neuroses were – and skip over the content of what he actually did."

Ha. I would pay to see that. This is of course hilarious because this is usually what happens when the media interviews many women; they ask them about their appearance and not about their accomplishments--even women as accomplished as Hillary Clinton, which is presumably what brought them onto the show in the first place.

Natascha McElhone: It's Time to Find an App for Gender Equality

More and More Rape Survivors are Choosing to Go Public

Here's an interesting new approach being taken by increasing numbers of young people these days who survive a sexual assault. Being a survivor has long been considered a major taboo or stigma due to the shame, humiliation, and embarrassment that survivors may feel in coming forward. And then of course, there are the real, actual punishments inflicted upon survivors when they do come forward: everything from re-victimization by law enforcement, the court system, educational institutions, blame from friends and family who struggle to make sense of what happened (and in some countries being stoned to death or burned alive!), direct retaliation by the perpetrators, friends or family of the perpetrators, or the public, and, most of all, blame from yourself as the survivor.

On top of all that, there are the more subtle, more cerebral, considerations surrounding the overwhelming fear about the details of your story becoming public information. The details of the event are of course very personal and very humiliating. Why would you want everyone to know those things about you? Why would you want everyone who ever sees you or meets you for the rest of your life to associate you with such atrocities? With such vulnerability? To see those images of you in their minds? They have no right to see that; no none does. Why would you want to identify yourself in that way to other people? To be inextricably intertwined with that story, so that it forever becomes a part of your identity in others' minds? Why tell people those things, and in so doing, perhaps make yourself that much more vulnerable than you already are, which is pretty damned vulnerable?

Maybe part of the fear comes from a fear a re-attack. If people know you are damaged in this way, then what if they use that information to take advantage of you again? After all, some people are evil, and those people do and will take advantage. That, if nothing else, is what you have learned from your awful, dreadful experience. Right?

Indeed, there is so much to consider in deciding whether to tell anyone at all (let alone everyone), if so, who, when, and how much to tell, and what will happen to you, your identity, your life, and to the lives of others, as a result of coming forward.

But as the thinking here (in this article below) goes, it is only in silence that the perpetrators continue to win. Again and again and again. They are guaranteed through your silence that they will continue to live their lives without any real consequences or repercussions, and they will (in most cases) be guaranteed the opportunity to reoffend over and over again, continuing to ruin the lives of the vulnerable and everyone around them. Maybe, just maybe, by finally putting aside the shame and the secrecy, in the name of privacy, we as a society can truly understand the depth and the gravity of what you have been through, how it has affected you, how it has affected everyone else in your life, and what we as a society can and should DO about it. Only then can we all truly understand the importance of accountability and community support. Maybe your story will not be enough to send your rapist(s) to prison for life, or to prevent him (or her, or them) from hurting someone else, but with your story, at least there's a chance. Without it, there's nothing but privacy.

Easier said than done.

On the other hand, the whole idea of rape shield laws and a victim's right of privacy was to help survivors maintain their dignity and avoid public scrutiny and condemnation. I could certainly see that point of view, too. After all you've been through, why should you be punished or humiliated by putting yourself out there like that?  On the other hand, are you, at some point, doing a disservice to the public by not sharing this information? Yes, these are difficult decisions indeed.

There is no right or wrong answer. It always depends on your individual situation and what you know and feel in your heart is the right thing to do. But this article was moving and powerful and inspiring and raised some very good points to consider. I think this courageous young lady, Daisy Coleman, like the hundreds of other survivors who have chosen to go public, has some good things to say. Part of the new dynamic with today's young adults is that social media has the ability to quickly and powerfully transform social consciousness in ways that were not available to the young adults of yesterday. For better or for worse, privacy is being eroded, sometimes by choice, sometimes not, but one upside is that people seem to care more about these issues than they did before. And that (hopefully) is a good thing for women today.

Why Rape Victims Are Giving Up Their Right to Privacy - nymag.com

On the flip side, there is also the dreadful possibility that photos or videos of the actual assault will be released to the public:

The Big Problem With How We Report on Sexual Assault Online - Time

This is NOT, I repeat, this is NOT, the same as thing as the survivor making a conscious, informed decision about whether to tell her (or his) story. Only YOU as the survivor should have the power to decide if, when, who, and how much to tell. But this related issue also touches on privacy and victims' rights when it comes to sexual assault, so I thought it was worth including. And it does raise a larger question common to both issues: Does putting sexual assault more into the public limelight, and the public media, increase awareness of the problem and support for survivors, or does it merely increase insensitivity to violence, as well as public condemnation and threats of violence toward the survivor? I suppose it all depends on how the information is conveyed.

New Mobile Apps for Reporting Sexual Harassment

So there is a new mobile app in India called Safetipin that allows people to report sexual harassment with the simple touch of an icon. It sounds like it's being piloted by female students at Jamia Millia Islamia (University). Interesting idea, but as a practical matter, how does it work logistically, and what does it accomplish? Perhaps the thinking is that it will increase the rate of reporting because people will be able to report in privacy and not face the fear or shame of talking to someone face to face? But eventually, they would still have to talk to someone about it, right? During an investigation? And who would they be reporting it to, and what would that person or entity do about it?

It also allows witnesses to report harassment or assaults, but if a criminal assault occurred, then wouldn't the witnesses just call the police? Isn't that who would be receiving the mobile app reports in the first place? I don't know, I'm kinda confused by this. It does look like the app provides a variety of neighborhood and community information and resources, which could be helpful, especially if a victim of harassment was afraid to ask someone for help. Maybe they're onto something! Perhaps this is just a desperate plea for better P.R. in India after all the recent rape debacles. If it proves effective though, I wonder if such an app will make its way to the U.S. and elsewhere.

Mobile App to Help Girls Report Sexual Harassment - Jagran Post

Mobile App to Help Girls Facing Sexual Threats - DNA India

Ah, okay, this article below says a similar app was already launched in New York 10-12 days earlier:

Now, Smartphone App to Report Sexual Harassment - The Indian Express

And here is the scoop on the American app now available in New York City only, called Hollaback, which was released by City Council Speaker Christine Quinn, as part of her campaign for mayor:

Christine Quinn unveils Smartphone App Hollaback That Allows Sexual Harassment Victims to Report Incidents - New York Daily News

This article says the reports go to the City Council and the mayor. It will be interesting to see if these apps actually increase the rate of reporting, the rate of accountability, or reduce or prevent harassment in the future.